bingung...

gua ini anak radio, dulu enam bulan yang lalu gua selalu nongkrong di radio kampus gua karena gua nyaman disana, banget malah. tapi sekarang semua berubah karena gua sekarang lebih nyaman gabung sama anak-anak fakultas gua sendiri dan temen-temen maen gua yang praktisnya sih ketemu tiap hari. demi Tuhan sekarang gua bingung tentang ini. mungkin buat beberapa orang masalah ini simpel banget. tapi buat gua ini engga sama sekali. gua udah nganggep radio tuh keluarga gua dan rumah keluarga gua, tapi sekarang gua malah males buat kembali ke radio. kenapa? bingung gua. padahal gua udah yakin sama loyalitas gua selama ini buat mereka. tapi kenapa gua malah menghindar dari mereka? kenapa? apa ini tuh nunjukin loyalitas gua yang mudah berubah? berarti gua gagal dong selama ini....

perasaan gua ini susah banget buat dideskripsiin. demi Tuhan gua ga bisa ngomong ataupun nulisinnya, tapi gua harus ngeluarin sesuatu yang ada di hati gua ini. semoga dengan nulis hal ini sesuatu di hati gua ini bisa keangkat, walaupun dikit tapi bersyukurlah gua.

...well, this is me. This is my life...

Remembering Her

December 3, 2010 I lost one of my best friends, Sarah Gradisya Nova, and January 12, 2011, yesterday, was the 40th day since her departure. and almost all the people in this nation know it is in our culture on the 40th days is the last day where the spirits, soul, or whatever-that-is 'live' in this world, and they said after the 40th days she will completely gone from this world, believe it or not.

Life & Melody (Hidup & Melodi) is the only song Sasa, our nickname for Sarah, that I have in my cellphone. It is one of the really strong memories of her. Usually anyone else have photos to remember them dear, and now I am really grateful that Sasa is a singer, which means my memory about her not only the photos because I still had her voice to listen to.

but what about anyone else? what about my mom? what about my sister? what about my brother? Dad? Cousins? Nephews? Friends? even my own self? Do we have something to get remembered other than photos? then when my mom's gone which song will make me remember her? remember her voice? when my bro passed away what song that will make me remember him, his guitar playin? luckyly my older sister is a singer as well, and I have a LOT of her songs. but when I'm gone what will I'd be remembered of? what song? what movies? what act?

oh all this thinking are so irritating. it can make me simply go mad.
is it really necessary though to think about this kind of thing?

...well, this is me. This is my life...

I'll Go Gay For....

GIRLS GENERATION/SO NYUH SHI DAE/SHOUJO JIDAI/SNSD

or

1. Choi Sooyoung
2. Jessica Jung
3. Kim Hyoyeon
4. Stephanie Hwang
5. Kim Taeyeon
6. Lee Sunny
7. Seo JuHyun
8. Kwon Yuri
9. Im Yoona

okay, they ARE Girls Generation.. SNSD FTW!!!

gaaaahhh!!!! why they have to be so beautiful? *cryinblood*

...well, this is me. This is my life...

Vampire + Werewolf = WeIre / VampWolf

well, Twilight's fame is crazy right now and I guess (almost) everybody feel the fandom is growing and growing and growing and go on.... but nights after reading the Breaking Dawn, I thought of something based on these facts :

1. vampire can have children
2. vampire and werewolf become friends with each other, and they even fell in love with one another

so what I mean is can vampire and werewolf have kids TOGETHER? well if you ask me, they possibly can, right? but these circumstance only possible IF the girl is the vampire and the boy is the werewolf.

and if they really had one can you guys think what power the kid have? he/she has a heartbeat, a porcelain-like skin , 'tinkle-winkle' skin as well (like her 'ma) but with the ability of healing power, excessive strength and speed (well just imagine vampire's plus werewolf's, you've got to be kidding me *facepalm*), and many other powers that the parents will inherit to the kid, and maybe, just maybe, he/she can turned into a wolf too whenever he/she wanted.

WOW! what a 'wonderful' creature the kid is! the kid will ABSOLUTELY can't die with all the power he/she inherited from the parents

and believe it or not, the thought of this kid is slightly creeping me out. but if that's the case, well just let them have kids all they want, as long as they don't disturb me, human. LOL!

p.s. but hey, all these creatures can choose their sex-orientation right? so, have you guys ever thought what will happen if Edward and Jacob are actually gay and they fell for each other???

okay,,, I will STOP THIS NONSENSE right now! ugghhh, what a fcukde up mind

...well, this is me. This is my life...

about me

well first,

I'm sorry if my English bad...

because you know English is my second language and I think my grammar sucks

and I really appreciate if someone, or you guys, could help me to improve

that's a big THANK YOU for you

THANK YOU!!!

...well, this is me. This is my life...

waaawaaawaa

....atulah geje atulah!!! jam segini dah ngantuk tapi gak bisa tidur besok ulangan pula. mantap.....

dang!!!

please everyone who have 'secret recipe' which can bring people immediately asleep, share with me...

I need those...

huuu huuu huuu....

...well, this is me. This is my life...

LOVE

aku ingin mencintaimu dengan sederhana seperti isyarat yang tak sempat disampaikan kayu kepada api yang telah menjadikannya abu

translate:

I want to love you in such a simple way like the signal the wood sent that couldn't reach the fire which has made the ashes

got this from my absolutely respected teacher, Pa Santo.

I love the way this sentence drill my brain and lay in there. And I'm sure I'll never forget it.

and its my first post since, like, LONG TIME.....

and I'm happy to be home again

...well, this is me. This is my life...

My Confession

I like the way he put his 'idiot' face

I like the way he talks

I like the way he calls my name

I like the way he turns when I call him

I like the way he say 'Waah...'

I like the way he thinks different with others 

I like the way he put some efforts to end his problem and its ended with the problem always unsolved

I like the way he look into others eyes when they talks

I like the way he smiles

I like the way he laughs

I like the way he sleeps

I like the way he stare at me when I scolded him

and, I like the way he always aim for my anger to come to the surface

I like everything about him

But how do I love him?

...well, this is me. This is my life...